Church Leaders, Don’t Be a Jerk . . .

OK, so I must admit . . . I am not a super-tech kind of dude. I can get by and do pretty well, but there are still some very simple things that can confuse a guy like me. For example, and I’m being honest here . . . not too long ago I had never used an iPod touch . . . I know, I know . . . it’s hard to believe . . . but it’s true.

You see, one morning at church I was in a rush to load some songs onto an iPod for our preschool environment to use for worship, and guess what, I loaded the songs with great success! YES! But then I figured out that I needed to create a playlist so that the worship leaders could pick the songs they wanted to use for that day with ease . . . that’s where I got stuck . . .

OK, so here is the moment . . . the moment where I had to ask someone for help with a “stupid” question. Don’t you hate that . . . you have a question you know will end up having such a simple answer but you have to ask it anyways. So as I spun around looking for assistance my eyes caught the perfect person . . . so I asked the question . . . and can you imagine what happened . . . I got a “jerk-ish” response. In that moment what could have been a simple smile followed by a simple answer turned into a moment where this person became a jerk, made me feel stupid, and really wasn’t even much help.

This ever happened to you? Have you ever been the jerk? In the case mentioned above I was greatly disappointed in this person. He’s an established dude who is thought of, in some circles, as a leader of sorts. What the heck is wrong with “church” people today?

If there is ever a place where you should feel safe enough to ask ANY stupid question . . . it should be church. If there is ever a place where you should feel safe enough to be yourself without fear of being criticized . . . it should be church. I can’t tell you how disappointed I’ve been with “church” people throughout the years . . . and especially with myself when I fall into those “jerk” modes. Honestly, one of the reasons I love my church so much is the fact that we have more real, genuine people than I have ever seen in a church before . . .

This isn’t an argument against peeps with imperfections . . . I can handle broken, messed up people all day long . . . I’m one of them. What I am tired of in churches are the “SUPER CHURCHED” peeps that have way too much authority and can’t seem to even communicate properly with other human beings . . . we simply have too many of those people in churches today (which is the reason a lot of broken people stay away from church). Just think about it . . . what if I had been a new volunteer going through some major stuff . . . to be talked down to like I was in the story above could have driven me away from church for good.

So many church people are too judgmental, too critical . . . and their only goal is to try and fit in and look as “normal” as possible so not to be judged or critiqued themselves . . . that’s so sad.

Church should be a place of unique individuals . . . wild hearts . . . FREAKS . . . crazy in love with a Savior that is untamed and free. But the “jerks” or the “normals”, as I like to call them, want nothing to do with the wild and craziness of God and His people.

The only way to make church a safe haven for those looking to be accepted is for church leaders, on staff or as volunteers, to stop being jerks . . . show others what love looks like . . . and maybe even answer people’s “stupid” questions with respect and dignity.

About Adam Bayne

I'm the Children's Pastor at Grace Community Church in Clarksville, TN, a heavyweight Disney nerd, a lightweight sports fan, and an all-out fan of my wife and two daughters.
This entry was posted in Children's Ministry, Personal Growth. Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to Church Leaders, Don’t Be a Jerk . . .

  1. sandrs says:

    Love! Love! Love!

  2. Rog Hill says:


    Great Blog dude.

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